


Hearts and Minds

by meggannn



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-13
Updated: 2009-04-13
Packaged: 2017-10-13 16:47:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/139467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meggannn/pseuds/meggannn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts with a question, and then a confession.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hearts and Minds

It started with a question.

"May I tell you something?"

Yugi glanced at Atem as he took a seat with his coffee, stirring it with a spoon. "You can tell me anything you'd like."

"…I kissed Téa when I was in control of your body."

"…Really?"

"Yes. It was just the once, during our 'date' after Battle City, and… I got caught up in the moment. I apologized right after. She said it was all right. I didn't mention it to you then because I didn't think it would be fair: you've admired her for a long time, and there I came… I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. Really, I'm just a little… just a little surprised. I thought you two might've had something going on."

"I understand if you're upset. I didn't ask permission."

"From me or from her?"

"From both."

"I'm sure she didn't mind. And really, it's fine. I trusted you then, and I trust you now."

"How can you?"

"What?"

"Do you remember the last time I did something drastic without your approval?"

"What, the Shadow Games?"

"That… wasn't what I meant, but - "

"I already said I've forgiven you for everything… Here, I'll tell you a secret of my own. Occasionally, when I was feeling particularly lonely, way before I completed the Puzzle, I would pretend that I had a friend that would always be with me – a cooler, smarter, stronger guy that would take over and protect me when things got rough. Sometimes I'd even stay up at night wishing I could be that person myself. Then you came along."

"I imagine you must have felt extremely terrified."

"What? …Oh, the Games. Okay. Look, I can't blame you for that – "

"Of course you can."

" – No, let me finish. You were power-hungry and, uh, maybe not all there yet. You were confused and trying to protect me. It's, I mean I guess I understand, knowing who you are now. I can't imagine what it was like being locked with nothing but the Shadows for company for three thousand years, so it must have felt good to be able to have someone else there. Protecting someone probably made you feel less lonely."

"You could take care of yourself. You had the ability. You just didn't know how."

"I didn't have the courage, there's a difference. That what you were for."

"I scared you, though."

"It wasn't you that scared me."

"Please, partner, don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying. Look, all right, I know that thing with Kaiba at Duelist Kingdom may have been a little… actually, you know, whatever. It doesn't matter anymore. What – "

"Of course it matters – "

"Come on. At the _beginning_ , anyway, when you were - these Games on people who hurt me or my friends – our friends – yeah, I was scared. I was scared that it was me doing these things to these people, and… well, you know how I am about hurting others. When I'd wake up with blood on my hands or had blackouts in the middle of the day, it was… But it wasn't you I was scared of, it was just the fact that I didn't have a clue what was going on. I thought I was going crazy. When I found out it was someone else… well, I'll admit it, since we're sharing anyway. I was extremely relieved. Yeah, a little on edge, but I liked knowing that it wasn't _me_. But then Joey and Tristan and Téa were hanging out with me… and you introduced yourself… still, I wasn't as innocent and naïve as people thought I was, I don't think."

"…Partner?"

"I was just being selfish."

"No, you were being reasonable. Not everyone can do what I have done. To commit such acts without your permission is something I still blame myself for."

"Please don't. Not anymore. Yeah, it was wrong, but it all turned out for the best, didn't it? That counts for something."

"It counts for everything."

"…Thanks."

"You're very welcome."

"…Okay. Your turn."

"My turn? Oh… all right. Contrary to popular belief, during my time in the Puzzle, I never once did spy on you changing or in the shower."

"Ha ha, I already knew that. It doesn't count."

"It's still a secret, isn't it?"

"It's a known fact between the both of us. I've always trusted you not to do something like that."

"So do I go again?"

"Mm. If you want."

"All right. When I was a boy in Egypt, Priest Aknadin used to complain about his robes not being washed correctly; they always had a faint purple color when the servants returned them. He couldn't touch or hurt them because they were technically my father's servants, and I suppose I should have eventually apologized for putting them through so much worry, but nobody ever figured out that I used to sneak in to his chambers and squeeze prune juice over his clothing after the servants had laid them out to dry."

"You're kidding!"

"I was a horrible child back then. But he did deserve it."

"Why's that?"

"He'd punish me for not getting my lessons right. I was a boy; I had a childish sense of justice."

"…We all did. I guess I have to go, now. Hmm, okay; I liked myself the best when you were with me in high school."

"Is there a hidden meaning in that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you now going to tell me that the reason why you liked yourself the most when we were connected through the Puzzle is not because of me, but because of something else? Because this was when Téa was just beginning to notice you, perhaps?"

"You're too paranoid. Of course it was you."

"Why did you like yourself better when I was with you, may I ask?"

"It wasn't just because of what you gave to me. It was also because I finally had a friend – well, plural – and I loved the fact that I now knew what that was like. I cherished every moment I'd hang out with the gang; it was such a great feeling. Now I just sort of take it for granted."

"You shouldn't blame yourself for that."

"I don't. But sometimes I think I might have been a better person for it, back then."

"We all change, partner. We can't help it. You're who you are now because of who you were then, and it all worked out for the best. I don't judge you for taking your friends for granted, and I don't believe you ever did in the first place."

"You think?"

"I know. I suppose it's my turn, now?"

"Yeah. And hey, I gave you a good one, so make yours decent."

"Heh… stop laughing, I'm trying to think… ah. All right."

"You have one?"

"I've never told anyone this before. Forgive me if I'm a little hesitant to share, but…"

"If you don't want to tell me, there's no pressure."

"You should hear it. You deserve to hear it."

"…Okay."

"When I lost you to the Orichalcos…"

"Okay, I'll stop you there. I know what you said, but don't think I need to hear this. Everything's fine now; it was my fault I even left in the first place, so you can hardly blame yourself…"

"Please, let me finish. When I lost you to the Orichalcos, in a split second, I considered - ah."

"What?"

"I thought, perhaps, if I gave - an equal offering, my own soul, then the gods would allow an exchange."

"An _excha_ – ? Oh, my God."

"I know. It was an emotional, rash, and extremely idiotic idea born out of desperation and fear. I convinced myself soon after that it wouldn't do me any good and you would certainly be disappointed once you had found out what I had done – and when I took the time to think it out, I hardly even expected it to work at all, to be honest, but I did - at one point, it was an option. I thought about it. I just wanted you to know."

"I'm glad you didn't."

"Me, too."

"…I killed my mother."

"I don't believe that."

"It wasn't intentional. She died during my delivery, when I was born. I was premature and had a weak body, and she didn't make it… apparently, I was so still that the doctors thought I was dead, too, but after a few minutes I started to breathe. Still, she was already gone. I try not to blame myself. But it was my fault. However unintentional."

"It was as much your fault as it was the doctors' and your father's. These things happen. And again, it all worked out for the best, didn't it?"

"It seems so."

"Whatever the reason of her death, I'm sure she doesn't blame you."

"Thank you."

"…I still haven't forgiven myself for what happened at Doma."

"I still haven't forgiven myself for beating you at the Ceremonial Duel."

"…You should."

"So should you. But it isn't as easy as it should be, is it?"

"Nothing is as easy as it should be. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try."

"You say that a lot."

"So by now we shouldn't need a reminder, I don't think."

"We of all people need it."

"I'm sorry?"

"It's probably just me. I'm the biggest hypocrite of all of us. I preach on about trying your best and giving it all you've got… and I just sit here, not doing anything about my biggest problem."

"…Partner?"

"It's stupid, I'm sure."

"What is? Yugi, what aren't you telling me?"

"It's something I probably should have said sooner, but there's no use beating myself up about it now. And I figured maybe eventually it'd wear itself out, or I'd find someone else, or you would. But you didn't, and neither did I. And it just - I figure whatever I do it's always going to be here, no matter if you're in the Afterlife or you're sitting right next to me."

"Partner, just tell me. I want to know what's wrong."

"I'm trying, but… like I said, it's hard. I've, erm, been keeping this one for a while, so yeah, I'd say it's pretty big. It's going to change a lot of things. I'm sorry for that, in advance."

"Don't be sorry for telling the truth."

"I'm just sorry for keeping it from you for so long."

"Did you not trust me with it before?"

"No, I just didn't have the guts to say anything. Despite all the effort you've put into giving me courage…"

"Stop beating yourself up over this."

"There I go again. All right. Well, first, a disclaimer: I know there are two sides to this relationship and there always will be. This is just mine. I hope yours doesn't change after this."

"I'm sure I'll understand."

"Really?"

"I'm actually fairly certain that I do already."

"…What?"

"Partner, it's my turn. It's been years since you've completed the Puzzle, and ever since, I've thought about you every day. Out of protection, gratitude, then loyalty. And then, of course, it evolved into something else."

"What is it, a Pokémon?"

"…A what?"

"Nothing. Never mind. What has it evolved into now?"

"Now? It's something that isn't appropriate in this time. Feel free to be offended; you've grown up in this century, so it's completely justifiable."

"I'd never be offended with you."

"Nor I with you. The complete opposite, in fact."

"Oh. I see."

"This has been - ongoing for quite a while, as you can imagine. Though I might be acting out of place by taking this leap and assuming our two situations are similar in the slightest."

"…You're not taking a leap."

"No?"

"You don't need to. There's hardly any distance at all, I don't think."

"I didn't know your face could get that red."

"It's… just the warmth of the coffee, I'm sure."

"I really, really want to kiss you right now."

Atem blinked, recoiling a bit out of shock. After a moment, a grin managed to work its way onto his face and he took on a rather knowing look with one eyebrow raised and eyes shining. "Oh, yeah?"

Yugi sighed, gazing down at the mug in his hands but still smiling despite himself. He looked up, catching the look his partner sent him, and nodded. "Yeah."

"Ah." He tilted his head, looking at Yugi as they sat next to each other diagonally at one end of the kitchen table. "I suppose this would probably be the time to fix that, then."

"I guess so."

The sun sprayed light through the window and into the room. Yugi knew that outside, most people were probably getting in their cars now, kissing their spouses goodbye and heading off to work as the rest of their day began. He knew that downtown, his own job and Kaiba were waiting for him at KC headquarters so he could get started on the new Duel Disk lineup to be released next year; but still, he reached out his hand to brush the pharaoh's.

"You know," Atem said as his fingers found Yugi's, "it seems like you had this planned from the start."

"Nah," he told him. "I'm just doing the best I can, under the circumstances."

"How's that going?"

"Well, you know," he said to his partner now, and leaned in to close the distance between them. "It's day by day."

**Author's Note:**

> Revised 9/23/2016.


End file.
